Today we’re going to continue and go deeper from parts 1 & 2 (see previous posts), and open the door to The Promised Land of having the life, the situations, the experience of being YOU that you so deeply long to have.
In this series, I’m trying to bring to light what’s unseen that’s running each and every one of us. Not because it’s hopeless, or because we just have to resign ourselves to it. No, not at all. In fact, it’s because I know how to get beyond it and how to have your best life.
Do you remember from Session 1 just HOW MUCH lives in the non-conscious? 98% of what we see/hear/smell/taste and touch in any moment, but can’t process consciously – it’s stored in the nonconscious; and 90-95% of our intelligence lives in the nonconscious. And this isn’t all of what’s there.
Psychiatrist and sage Carl Jung, said: “Until you make the nonconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
Stanislav Grof, psychiatrist and founder of Transpersonal psychology, gives this a different spin: “Consciousness (our ability to perceive) does not just passively reflect the objective material world; it plays an active role in creating reality itself.”
Grof’s statement reflects the understanding of quantum physics which I introduced in the last session. It suggests that we are in some ways creating our own experience of life, without knowing we’re doing it, or how it works.
The unseen, nonconscious parts of us affect us in ways that we have so little idea of. But don’t despair. If we can begin to appreciate that this is true, and open up to it … then there’s the very real ability to NOT be controlled by it.
You see, what we’ve been taught is that if we do the hard work of going to therapy or really digging to see what’s going on, then we can become aware of what triggers us, what we do when we’re triggered, learn ways to cope or to respond differently. All of this is incredibly helpful to not simply be at the mercy of these things.
But we can do much better than that these days. A whole helluva lot better in fact. And what about the stuff that we don’t know about and can’t figure out, and no matter what, can’t get at through our conscious mind.
NOT TO WORRY! With up-to-date understanding of how this all works, and tools and techniques that can access the magnificent capacities that already exist within us, we can literally get down at the root of these problems. And pull them out at the root.
We use, in essence, the body’s computer to find them. We access the huge storehouse of information and intelligence in the nonconscious. We can’t access it through our conscious mind, but we can use our body. In this way we get the direction we need, and using tools and techniques we release the trapped energies (in the form of emotion or beliefs).
I’ve been using mind-body energy approaches for years for myself and with clients. I see with my own eyes and in my own life how powerful and utterly transformative they are. But because my college and graduate training is in biology, chemistry, physics—the hard sciences—my mind was trained to think in certain ways.
And so, even as I’m doing this work on myself and with clients, there are many times when I just shake my head and laugh … “this is weird stuff.” I only have that response because of how I was taught, a lot of years ago, “how things work” and this doesn’t fit within those outdated parameters. But science, technology, and human understanding has changed SOOOOOO much since then.
There are already scores and scores of therapies, many of which have become generally accepted, that rely on an energetic understanding of human life: radiation therapies; ultrasonic treatments; acupuncture; homeopathy; polarity therapy; EFT/Tapping; healing touch; therapeutic touch; reiki, craniosacral therapy; etc.
The pace of change, the advancement of technologies on all fronts, is astounding.
MY STORY – TESTIMONIAL
So I want to now take this information and make it more practical. See what this looks like in our real life.
Do you know somebody that no matter what, just can’t seem to make something work in his life the way he wants to. Something about work; or something about relationships? Maybe you experience this in yourself. There’s something that no matter how hard you try, you can’t get there. And it just doesn’t make sense. It seems like everything is there, but it never lines up to really come through.
People who know me well don’t understand my fear of being more public or open about who I am, what I do, and how I can help people. It was a challenge for me to be relaxed and open in public settings, and to allow myself to just be me. It’s held me back in many ways throughout my life. My friends couldn’t imagine why, and I really didn’t either. I’m wasn’t exactly shy, and generally not insecure, until I needed to get up and be open and vulnerable in certain kinds of situations. And it seemed to get more pronounced the older I got.
But let me pull back the curtain a little and use my story to demonstrate how these unseen blocks and dynamics work for us in real time.
It’s 1970. I’m 7 years old, playing on the living room floor of our small house with my brother who’s two years younger. We’re being silly and making noise… just being little boys having fun.
Suddenly and without warning, my dad is completely red faced, furiously screaming at me, and I scramble under the dining table. He’s yelling at me, trying to grab me, and I am terrified that if he reaches me that he’s going to kill me. Literally, kill me. I’m crouching in the back where he can’t reach me, and I have no idea what I did to cause such a response.
Through the craziness what I can get is that he’s furious about me saying something about the funny noises my brother was making. Apparently I said something like, “you sound just like Uncle John.” I had no idea what I had said.
You see, Uncle John was my dad’s older brother, who was sitting about 8 feet from where this was all happening. I hadn’t met my uncle John until just months earlier, when he was rolled into our home in a wheelchair after being shipped back from Vietnam, severely, mortally wounded. To my 7 year old eyes, he was a lifeless monster occupying the middle of our lives who could only mumble utterances.
This tragic scene returned to my conscious memory about 40 years later during an exercise I was doing in a training. Until that moment, I had completely forgotten about this whole situation. I asked my sister later, and she said, “Oh boy, do I remember that. I ran to the bedroom.”
The purpose of the exercise in the training was to discover a childhood memory in which you made a decision about how you could or could not be in your life which was limiting your life today. This is what emerged from the recesses of the nonconscious.
So, what was the split second, completely unconscious decision I made at 7 years old when I thought that my father was literally going to kill me ….?
It was, “You’d better be careful what comes out your mouth. You may say something and not have any idea it might get you killed.”
If that fundamental belief was operating down in the deep recesses of my inner computer, can you appreciate that this might have had something to do with me feeling a great deal of anxiety, insecurity and self-doubt about speaking openly and naturally in public settings?
There are a few point I wanted to make by sharing this story:
- We all have stories like this, whether we’re aware of them or not. Mostly, we’re not aware of them. Things that happened in our childhood which were profoundly impactful but we either don’t remember them, or barely remember them.
- That impact, whether we remember it or not, was indeed impact. It didn’t go away, it’s still there. These days, we call it “trauma.”
- Even if we do remember it, it’s nearly impossible to appreciate the extent of the impact from the adult point of view looking back at it.
What happens to a kid when something like this, or many other types of things, more or less traumatic—QUICK INBREATH! That’s what happens. And in that split second, life altering, unconscious decisions get made that literally alter what’s possible for us … until we discover them and then do something to clear them.
But something else also happens when we go AHHHHHHH in situations like that. The Energy in the form of Emotion – the Confusion – fear – terror- insecurity – anger – shame – worthlessness – cannot run its course. It’s like when too much electricity suddenly runs through the wiring of the house, and since it’s more than the system can handle, the fuse blows, or the breaker flips. A similar mechanism happens in our body, and that energy is stopped from flowing so it won’t overwhelm us. It’s an instinctual survival mechanism. The energy in the form of emotion gets trapped. It gets stuck. And it gets hidden away, shall we say, waiting for when we can come back and let it run its course and move on. Because if it doesn’t run its course, it’ll run our lives… and we’ll call it fate.
When my memory first returned of being 7, I could see the profound decision I’d instantly made how it affected my life. It allowed me to have a conversation with my dad which was healing and helped to bring us a little closer. I had understanding to fight back with when I would feel horribly insecure, but anxiety and self-doubt still significantly got in my way
It wasn’t until years later, doing body-based energetic work and I got to the places where the “UHHHHHHs” were stored. I cleared them and then things significantly shifted for me. This is when I feel like I truly was healed of that old trauma an of the debilitating effect it had been having on my life.
And now I’m here, sharing these new, unorthodox healing techniques with hundreds of people, feeling secure and confident and loving sharing this information. This is a huge change from years ago.
You see, it was the body-mind energetic work to go to the root of the hidden blocks, pull them up, and clear the stuck traumatic energy of the “uhhhhhhhs” that made this possible.
And the best part – it’s not a traumatic process. And it’s such an exciting journey to feel yourself become freer and freer as you begin to express who you truly are.
I wanted to really go into an example to show you how this works. Most of us don’t know that such huge shifts can be possible. I truly hope you have a better idea of just how much the nonconscious dimensions are at play in your life with the difficulties you are facing.
In earlier times of our life, decisions get made, or we absorb beliefs, attitudes, opinions about ourselves and about life from the environment. It’s NOT that we’ve done anything wrong. It’s a normal part of growing up.
And then you add an understanding of the nature of Energy, and that everything is energetic. As long as energy is able to keep freely flowing, there’s always a state of resolution that gets reached. But when we go “Uhhhhhhhh” in life, when the circuit breaker flips to protect us and the energy gets trapped, then this creates an unseen block in our system.
The question becomes, “How do we return to free flow?”, so that emotion can move through without triggering, without provoking, the old stuff?”
It’s got to be released.
And the absolutely marvelous thing about all of this is that there’s something in us that’s always been there and always will be there, watching, recording, cataloguing all of it. This is like the all-seeing eye, the omniscient part of who we are, which I have called the non-conscious. Within our being, our nonconscious and our bodies, there is a record, and there is the wisdom to tell us where to find these hidden blocks and how to release them.
Because once they’re released, we can then be in a similar situation that used to cause us distress, but it doesn’t happen. We don’t have the triggered energy show up and feel like we’re being taken over by reaction. We can simply be there.
What DOES make a difference is this … when we go with love, care and acceptance to where the “uhhhhhhhhs” live, and let them resolve, all things become possible.
And then whatever is there to be dealt with can be dealt with from a powerful place. At that point, it feels like you’ve become a completely different person, but also, oddly enough, feeling more yourself than you’ve ever felt before.
Welcome to the Door of the Promised Land.
So think for a second about how this might be playing out in your life? Do you see repeating patterns of where you get stopped, or where fear or self-doubt seems to win out over what you want? Maybe you’ve seen a bit about why this is happening?
My clients who have been, or still are, in talk therapy help me to see the limits of those modalities that rely on the thinking, rational, conscious mind and the emotions to unravel these stuck places. It’s not that there isn’t benefit — there certainly can be. But getting to the root — that’s an entirely different story.
And this is why the understandings that I’ve laid out in Sessions 1 and 2 are critical. Beginning to understand that the non-conscious plays such a huge role in our lives (and we don’t really have a clue how much), and that everything is energy and all that this implies … opens up an entirely different context to solving the most frustrating and heartbreaking dilemmas in our lives.
Coming up in Session 4. I’m going to bring in more about what starts showing up on the other side of releasing these hidden block. When you remove that which isn’t you — these old stuck beliefs, and these trapped emotions that act as triggers in life — then WHO YOU ALREADY ARE is already there. This brings in more of what I would call the “spiritual” dimension. You won’t want to miss this.
When I work with clients and students, I teach them how to use this technique to get answers from their non-conscious computer. Just like any skill, it takes training and practice to use it effectively.