This is the fourth of a series exploring narcissism and probing for deeper truths. While each post provides its own value, reading all of them will provide an encompassing perspective.
In the previous post, I unfolded how and why the simple act of exerting and holding a boundary (what is and isn’t acceptable in my company) changes everything. We continue from there …
The Simple Thing is Also the Most Challenging
There’s something in all this dynamic when you can kind of see and say … hold on a second.
In this exploration of The Narcissism Mechanism, I’ve asserted that it’s a circle of victimization; meaning, each person taking the position of “I’m not responsible, I’m not wholly response-able. I’m not wholly, wholly, completely able to respond to this situation in my life.”
It doesn’t mean that situations outside of us aren’t imposing all kinds of stuff which can be really horrible. I’m not saying that at all. But it’s the idea that somehow, because of something “out there”, I am not able to fully be in control of my response here.
But yet, it seems that at least a significant step down this road to being response-able is radically simple–SET AND MAINTAIN A BOUNDARY.
Please understand that, while I stand behind what I just said about it being radically simple, I also very deeply, personally, and professionally know that for the codependent, it doesn’t come much harder and more terrifying than that
I concur, along with almost everyone who works with and studies these dynamics, that narcissists will not change, will not heal. Will not. Many even say CAN NOT.
Setting the Bar High is What Breaks the Mechanism
So if these dynamics are going to change for you, for me, for us … it’s up to you and to me.
To do what? To face how fucking terrified we are of drawing lines in our lives. Of setting boundaries. Of doing the work needed to become a trustworthy, loving and fierce partner to ourselves.
For if we don’t, if we stay lost in the endless cycle of victimization, of blaming our fate on the other, the world, the (insert anything here), we will stay stuck. And we will be afraid of the big bad narcissists of the world.
For many, what I am proposing feels like too high a bar. I realize that. But, let’s get real—what are the alternatives?
And beyond that, from the perspective I started from (God incarnate here on Earth) I feel it’s THE bar that Life is calling us to right now.
Because as spiritual beings on the planet at this time, we are living at a time some call The Great Awakening, The Great Turning, The Turning of the Ages. We have the potential to literally escape the tremendous limitation that humanity has been living under for a very long time.
The Narcissism Mechanism appears to be an incredibly entrenched and unseen structure for this endless cycle of victimization that “keeps God down.”
If we don’t wake up and do the personal work that disengages us and keeps us out of the Narcissism Mechanism, it’s going to be impossible to take advantage of the huge promise of the times in which we are living.
How to Get Started?
In the next post, I’ll explore what you can do, and what this actually looks like for a spiritual being to take on this challenge.
To be continued …